How To Converse With A Creative Dreamer
Posted: Wednesday, March 04, 2009
by Asher Ricard
We all have those people in our lives that for whatever reasons are just, well, different so to speak. You know the ones: the writers, the artists, the musicians, etc. You might even be one of those people.
We hear all the time high levels of depressions, suicide rates and so forth among these groups of people. In fact, some of the most well-known are also well-known for their battles with depression.
Recently, we had a revelation. We realized why we have such a hard time feeling hopeful and encouraged. Here is an excerpt of a real life conversation between one of us dreamers and a very realistic, down to earth mom.
"I decided to start my own business."
"Doing what?" She asks.
"Design"
"How will you make money doing art?"
"The same way I make money now, just on my own instead of at a company."
"How will you have insurance, do taxes, have security?"
You can see where I am going with this. Realist or practical people never understand the dreamer point of view and vice versa. Yes, she only wants what is best, but from a communication standpoint she just took away every bit of confidence the dreamer had.
Dreamers need encouragement or people to believe in their abilities and talents. Realistic and practical people need step-by-step procedures to understand. Therefore, their nature causes the dreamer to lose esteem and spiral into depression at times.
How do we fix this cycle? Here are some dos and don'ts to live by when dealing with a creative person.
Do offer praise. Dreamers tend to be talented people and their work is an expression of who they are. When you criticize their work, they tend to take it personally. It isn't work to them. It is their passion. It is who they base their identity on.
Do not bog them down with administration issues. They are not administrative by personality. By you demanding them to be, you are causing an internal conflict causing them to suffer. Let them learn on their own and choose your words wisely.
Leave room for their talent. I have talked with many dreamers over the years that hate being told what to do. It makes them feel incapable of succeeding. Give them permission to use creative expertise in their work.
Vice versa, creative dreamers need to take into account where the other side is coming from when they do converse. As much of a struggle that it is, they need to realize their talent is not who they are and learn to take constructive criticisms without a doom and gloom mentality.
I hope this article helps those who deal with creative dreamers on a day-to-day basis. I can't stress enough to parents whose children are creative dreamers to be careful how you encourage. Otherwise, you raise an adult with no self-esteem always fearful of you in their life.
Encourage! Encourage!
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